Discussion On "Being Nice" Continues

 My discussion on the words, nice and kindness, continues.

I am thinking about the little children’s riddle:  “Sticks and stones and break my bones; but words will never hurt me.”  

                                                        

That is so not true.

This discussion is a completely relevant, a key issue, for all ages today.  Actually a key issue in Jesus’ day as well -- Bullying.

Bulling stunts positive growth in children; and causes emotional, sometimes physical, pain in all ages.

Bulling is defined as behavior “that seeks to harm, intimidate, or coerce someone perceived as vulnerable.”

Or, bulling is a “passive aggressive attempt to control another.”

When we, as followers of Jesus Christ, stand by and let bullies be actively controlling, rude, people who push too hard verbally or physically; We are not being faithful to our call to follow Jesus way of living.

  

When we stand by and allow, ignore or pretend there is not a problem.  We tell that person, who is using bulling behavior, it is okay to damage somebody’s mind or spirit.

When we think it is not “nice” (the simple, dangerous, ignorant definition of the word ‘nice.’)  We tell ourselves its not our business.

                                                                           

 We are supporting the bully!

We are saying it it okay to hurt — damage — another.

And buy the way, bulling isn’t just something children do on the playground.

A bully is anyone who walks all over another person to get his/her way; however it is done. However old you are.

Flashback:

In Jesus’ day, how would Jesus handle a bully?

Would he pat him or her on the back and say: “its okay you are just having a bad day?”

No!

In truth, he might ask the bully to think about what he/she was doing, and why.

He might have said something like: repent of your behavior and don’t do it again.  

Or he might ask the person to leave the area until you are willing to say you are sorry.

Jesus called people on attitudes and behavior that arrogantly stood their ground and would not admit their actions.  

That is, would not turn to God for forgiveness; and much needed help in the area of loving and caring for their neighbor.  Would not ask forgiveness from the offended party.

Point of information:

Adding, by the way, that no one is a hopeless case in the eyes of God.

No one can do the worst possible thing and not fined the hope of forgiveness for their arrogant — hurtful — ways by asking God for help.  

Yes, Jesus would confront the bully on the play ground, work place and family home.  He would say a big no to any behavior that hurt or injure -- either physically or mentally --  another person in any way.

When we hurt or harm another person; especially in the name of God, or in the name of God’s word, it is not honorable, nor faithful and does not accomplish God’s purpose. 

God's word, will, is meant to create good life, good growth, positive activity for all people.

Yes, there is a place in the Christian heritage where we need to no.

Jesus certainly did,

And we are called to follow Jesus.

Did Jesus Realy tell Us To Be Nice?

 I have been mentally playing around with our Christian conditioning.   That is, how we all grew up being conditioned to think in certain ways.

And I am thinking that such conditioning, was unintentionally, based on an innocent misinterpretation of what “the Bible” says.  

The term, in my personal conditioning, was: ‘nice.'  

Be nice and Jesus will love you.  

Be nice and people will like you. 

Be nice and……

Now, as a seasoned theologian,  I am realizing that term created a false idealism, within me, that lead to a big hole in my ministry and my life. 

I grew up thinking that the whole world should be nice.  I believed it was possible.

It is a lovely image.  One I still hold dear.

However, it is neither realistic nor possible.  And that truly upsets my long held paradigm on life and living together, in peace and harmony, in Jesus' name.

It actually gets in the way of how Jesus asks us to love.

Did you know that the term ‘nice’ is no where found in scripture — except in paraphrased versions of the Bible.

If you doubt that, I invite you to check it out.

Lately I have been doing a bit of research on the word ‘nice:’

To be nice, according Webster, is very interesting.  Look it up and you will find: “foolish,” “ignorant,” "Not-to-know.”     “Showing a fastidious or finicky tastes: particular, exacting in requirements of standards, possessing, marked by, or demanding great or excessive precision and delicacy.”   

Way down on the list is: “pleasing, agreeable, fitting, socially acceptable, well-bread, virtuous, respectable.”

Notice that the most insignificant definitions are at the lend of the list.

So I am thinking, ‘being nice’ carries with it a misconception of what Jesus is asking of you and me.

Lets look;

What Jesus taught consists of two major ingredients/rules:

Love God with your entire being.

Care for everyone like Jesus did.  

To me it means: don’t allow harm to come to anyone.

Do you get the tissue-paper-thin difference in loving — caring — for others ‘like’ Jesus did?  Over against bad, evil destructive behavior that stunts growth in others.

What Jesus taught entails more than being socially acceptable, well-bred, virtuous and respectable.”

There is something — something much more — that describes  Jesus' call to “love.”

And I'm thinking this something is describe, with much  more clarity, in the term: kind — kindness.

The Theological Dictionary of the New Testament (p. 1320- 1321) gives us this vision of what it means to be kind: 

The basic sense is: “excellent, useful, good, orderly, healthy, propitious, benefit, worthy, decent, honest, gentle, good-hearted, of good character.  

The Hebrew concept: God is all of the above and more.

The Greek concept combines all the above adjective into: “Divine kindness that allow space for repentance.”

My take on what — kindness means — is: genuine kindness does not seek reward — a halo to ware.

All of which, in my mind, means genuine, real, not fake.

More on this subject next time.