Another "But I Say To You!"

The writers of books, movies and TV shows missed this shall-not when they were in Sunday School!  

“You shall not commit adultery!”

Adultery is a noun that refers to the verb adulterate.  To make something impure!  To spoil!   To corrupt something good!  It is a violation of a trust given.  It is an infringement on God’s original purpose.

In the Old Testament, adultery brought with it death by stoning.  

In the New Testament Jesus gets very specific about adultery, to the smallest detail, of what adultery can bring to the union of trust promised in the marriage ceremony.   

However, adultery is not just a matter of Civil Law, or social standards, but a conflict with God’s Holy Will.  

Suffice to say, adultery is just wrong!

That could be the end of this discussion.  It could be if we were to keep this issue to just physical relations between human beings.  However, the same, shall not  commit adultery, refers to unfaithfulness to God as well.

So let me back-up for a moment to Jesus’ second “But I say!” when he is talking about the usual result of adultery. 

Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.  “But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”(v.31-32)

Jesus once again goes beyond the letter of the law, The Torah, and invites his listeners to think about adultery as not just an act.  But also our ultimate destiny as one of God’s children!  

By the way, in the Old Testament the Torah allows divorce!  

1 Suppose a man enters into marriage with a woman, but she does not please him because he finds something objectionable about her, and so he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house; she then leaves his house 2 and goes off to become another man's wife. 3 Then suppose the second man dislikes her, writes her a bill of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house (or the second man who married her dies); 4 her first husband, who sent her away, is not permitted to take her again to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that would be abhorrent to the Lord, and you shall not bring guilt on the land that the Lord your God is giving you as a possession.(Deut 24:1-4)

Jesus suggests that this law was made for the sake of the hardness of the human heart. That is, a heart that has become insensitive, stiffened, toughened.  A heart that has grown hard, unreceptive to God’s saving will.  This issue of the heart has a much more profound and deeper meaning then we think of our hearts today. 

I have probably told you this before.  But chronologically advantaged folks often repeat themselves.

In the Hebrew understanding, the heart is the seat of all rational function, thought and emotion.  The source of all religious and ethical conduct.  The heart is the core of our being.

The brain holds a place of non-importance in the Old Testament way of thinking. 

Now fast forward to the “But I say to you.”

Adultery also has very much to do with those who resist the truth about Jesus.  Jesus refers to those people as “an evil and adulterous generation.” (Mt. 12:39)  

This adultery issue is more about the divine human relationship.  The covenant, the promise of God’s faithfulness!  The promise made between God and his human creation.

In Genesis 9 God is quite clear: 

This is a sign of the covenant between you and me and every living creature that is with you, for all generation.  I have set my bow in the clouds.  And it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth…I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.  This is my sign.”( Gen. 9:12f)

The covenant of Marriage is a promise of faithfulness and trust.

The covenant promise with God and us is also a promise of faithfulness and trust.

Trust is something we would be wise to never tamper with.  Trust is a very fragile and precious ingredient in all of relationships. 

A violation of trust is not easily healed!

In the Old Testament journey God lost trust In His human creation.  He lost confidence that they could be relied upon to be faithful.  So he came in Jesus’ skin to level the playing field. 

When we cannot be trusted because we have adulterated a relationship; we find ourselves living in fear and secrecy.  It drives us into a terrible darkness!  Often lonely and sometimes hopeless! And often we find ourselves emotionally on the run.  Wondering if someone will discover our misdeeds.   

But, do you know what?  We can never hide form God!

We can fool a lot of people!  But we will never be successful at fooling God.

Point?

Our ultimate hope, in this life on earth, is what we have between ourselves and God.

So, at this point in the discussion Jesus might say one more:  “But I say to you”  If you want to mess with adultery!  

If you think you can adulterate God’s will!  

Be unfaithful to God by being unfaithful to human promised!  “Then you will be liable to the hell of fire…”

But then He graciously adds this interesting add-on:  So, “if you remember that you brother or sister ( or maybe your God) has something against you, leave you gifts before the altar and go first and be reconciled to those you’ve broken trust with….come to terms quickly with your accuser…(Mt. 5:23f)

In other words, eat rug before them.  Prostrate yourselves before them with true repentance.  Be sorry “from the bottom of you socks; because the bottom of your heart is simply not deep enough”(Hallmark card)

Prostrating, lowering ourselves, crawling on our hands and knees in honest regret.  Might, might, get our loves one’s attention.

But here is the good news:  we don’t have to crawl or prostrate ourselves before God.

“Those without sin cast the first stone”

God knows our deepest regret!  God accepts our honest plea for forgiveness.  

Listen to what God tells his adulterous people through Jeremiah:

31 The days are surely coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah. 32 It will not be like the covenant that I made with their ancestors when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt—a covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, says the Lord. 33 But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 34 No longer shall they teach one another, or say to each other, "Know the Lord," for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, says the Lord; for I will forgive their iniquity, and remember their sin no more. (Jere.31: 31-34)

That is how very easy it is with God! 

That is how extremely gracious God is!

That is how God’s perfectly unconditional love and acceptance works!

When we have such a generous and forgiving God, I have to wonder!  Why would we ever even consider being unfaithful to that kind of loving acceptance?  

Why would we even be temped to ruin, or dishonor, that kind of mercy?

27 "You have heard that it was said, "You shall not commit adultery.' 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell. 31 "It was also said, "Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' 32 But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.(Matt.5)

What Does Murder Truly Mean?

21 "You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, "You shall not murder'; and "whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.' 22 But I say to you…..

Jesus now begins the part of his teachings on some of the Ten Commandments, that I spoke about before.  Where Jesus states the “Shall Not” and then says: “But I say to you…..”

At a first read, it would seem that, Jesus is basically contradicting Moses’ law.  At least that could be the assumption!  However, he is actually doing something much more.  Something all-encompassing!

He is pushing beyond — exceeding —the understanding of murder.

He is actually broadening the scope of what it means to murder — to destroy.  

Point of interest!

It might help to mention here that Jesus is not just addressing his students, his disciples, who have been following him.  His basic focus is on the whole people of Israel. The Hebrew people who had been the major translators of Mosaic Law.  He is attempting to educate them as to their need to reassess traditional understanding, not only of the law; but their understanding of God’s true character.

The issue at hand is murder!  Killing!  Taking a life by some kind of force!

21 "You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, "You shall not murder'; and "whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.' 

But I, your promised Messiah, say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister you are liable to judgment.  If you insult a brother or sister!  If you say: “you fool!”  You are liable to judgment of the fires of hell!

Now, if we are really listening to what Jesus is saying here.  We all stand totally guilty.

The first time I read these words.  I mean the first time as a seminary student.  A student that would be asked to teach and preach God’s word.  I sat there amazed!  I realize how very ignorant I really was.  And, I was forty-seven year old!

One thing Seminary training does, is break down your idealistic imagination about former teaching of “what it says in the Bible.”  It is both interesting, and life changing, to be asked to actually pay attention to what you have, always thought, you believed. 

So I invite you to pay attention to what Jesus might be doing here.  Because three times he is telling us not to be rude or arrogant. 

He is clearly making a point that is not to be ignored! 

We are not to cause others to feel less!

We are not to be hateful and/or destructive toward another child of God.

We do not have the right to, in anyway, take a position of rudeness, meanness or superiority over another. 

We do not have permission to make anyone feel worthless.

Verbal attacks, unkind conversation, is something that has long been the most damaging activity in history.

When reading about this, one reader brought up a childhood jingle.  “Sticks and stone can break my bones.  But words can never hurt me.”  Then wrote: “Bodily injuries can be healed in most cases. But unkind words can cause damage that may never heal.  You shall not murder, by itself, does mean killing the body.  But it also means destroying one’s spirit.”   

Unquote!

This conversation on the Fifth Commandment is, in fact, Jesus’ theme throughout his entire ministry.

We are to be “builders,” to use the Apostle Paul’s terminology.  We are to be fruit bearers!  Love givers!  Not destroyers!  We are to work for the good of others.  We are to work for harmonious relationships.

Verbally abusive conversation tears down!  It can cause more damage to a person’s spirit than a physical assault.  Words, used unwisely, can kill the heart of another. 

Now, having said all of that, lets be perfectly honest.  Unless we are angels, all of us have said things that should not have been said.  Most of us have spoken out of anger or frustration in our life time.  I certainly know I have!  

I also know that every time I read these words from Jesus they make me cringe.

And I believe that they are meant to make us cringe.  They are meant to make us think.  To think hard about the limited difference between “Sticks and stones” and unkind words.

So what do we do with this passionate teaching from our Lord and Savior?

Well, even though we have broken, this very detailed commandment, with unkind words from time to time.  We can adjust that way of speaking.  All we have to do is asked for help.  Because, Jesus is simply asking us to think before we speak.  To be aware of how hurtful our anger can be.

Clarification:

Having established the harm words can do.  I want to talk about the habit.  The habit of verbal abuse!  That is, those who spend a good part of their time throwing verbal daggers.  Constantly degrading — being mean — with their assaults on spouses, children and others that get in their way.  

They just don’t seem to give a rip about how it might damage someone.  They even think that they are justified.  Yet, they leave a mark on the target.  Just like a bullet, words cannot be taken back.

I can’t help but believe that Jesus was talking to these habitual offenders in this pointed adjustment to the Fifth Commandment. 

The point?  

In our inadvertent sins of the tongue.  We very quickly want to bite that care-less tongue. At the very least we are sorry later.  We most probably ask God for forgiveness!  Not to mention the person we spoke unkindly to.

It is fairly clear to me that God is grateful for our repentant hearts.  Grateful, because our repentance is an amazing point of grace.  

This point of grace is also what divides the habitual mean word from those of us who, from time to time, lose our very human tempers. I believe God finds great joy at our awareness — admission — of our weakness.  I also believe that God wants us to know that we need him to keep us strong.  To keep us less tempted to cause hurt to others.  

I have said this before, and I’ll say it many times again.  The point of grace, for anyone of us, is simply the desire to do it God’s way.  Knowing we will never do it perfectly.

Thanks be to God for tremendous patience!

Should Children Honor Their Parents?

Today we will tackle the Fourth Commandment.  Calling children to “honor” their parents.  

Interestingly enough, this is one Commandment that Jesus does not explain like the others (in Matthew and Luke). Where he states the Old Testament Commandment and then begins each teaching by saying:   “You have heard that it was said in ancient times you shall not…..But I say to you…”

“But I say to you…”

I wish he would have done that with the Fourth Commandment.  I wish he would have said:  You have heard it said in ancient times honor your father and mother. But I say to you   honor is due when it is given. Or something much wiser than that! But an explanation none-the-less!  However we get no relief from God’s original words on the Fourth Commandment from Jesus.  At Least not directly!

So to be clear, on what God was asking, I looked up the Greek and Hebrew word for honor.  In the Greek honor specifically means appraisal, assessment, to value, or deem worthy.  In the Hebrew, to honor is to reward.

The Fourth Commandment is then telling us to value and reward mother and father because they are worthy.

My commentary on the subject:

But I say to you that honor is something received when it is given.  And only to those who have been appraised as one of value — of worth — will receive honor.  

Does that shock you?  

Does it shock you that I would even consider suggesting that children may not honor their mother and/or father?

Well, the truth is, we don’t have to go far to be confuse by the Fourth Commandment.   Very confused!  All we have to do it to read Jesus’ words, from Matthew’s Gospel, where he says:  “Whoever loves father and mother more than me is not worthy of me .”(Matthew 10:37)

How do we meld together Jesus’ words with God’s Fourth Commandment?

How are we understand those two very different teaching? 

Centuries before Jesus came the Fourth Commandment had been mis-used and abused.  Sadly that tradition continues today. 

What I am thinking is that Jesus’ command to love is a better term, to use, than honor.  It has more punch!  More definition than the word honor.

I use love here as tender care.  That kind of tender care gives us the why.  Why we would honor mother and Father!  Why we would be willing to show respect to them.  Because when we treat others as special, of value and worth! Then we receive the same in return.

At least that is the hope!

In 1 John 4:3 it says: “We love because he first loved us.”

Those who give love, are those who have been loved, valued and respected!

The Fourth Commandments has given grown-ups permission to treat children with dishonor and disrespect.   

Point of Clarification:  

There are many more good and tender parents in this world. What I am talking about are the exceptions.  The unloving parents who have tragically affected thousands of children’s live.

Just think about it a moment!  Some of the most well known adages from the past are:

“Children are to be seen and not heard.”  

“Children are to do as I say!  Not as I do.” 

“Children are to respect their elder no matter what.”

We can even find passages in the Old Testament that give examples of how extremely important it is to honor their parents.  Most especially their fathers!  Look up Deuteronomy 21:18-21 and read for yourself!  A child could be stoned for talking back, or disobeying, a father.  We are not talking small stones here! These stones most often led to death.  

Here is how this works in some people’s mind: “Thats what it says in the Bible.”  So, it is okay!  Even right!

This attitude didn’t just happen in Old Testament times. 

You know, as well as I do, that we hear of the mistreatment of children all too often in our world today.  Two boys beaten to death after church by the elders; because they wouldn’t admit their sin.  Or, how about the most recent example: Thirteen children found shackled and held captive in their parents home.

This disrespect, actually this inhuman treatment, of children is understood as okay.  Okay because it say so in the Bible.  At least that is the interpretation!  And, the elders feel free to be rude, mean, unkind and just plain awful to children.  Because they can!

So now I ask you!  Are those children really suppose to honor and respect — deem worthy — that kind of behavior? 

The question is, how do we balance “What is says in the Bible?”  

The confusion about Biblical interpretation remains a huge problem. 

Paul writes to the Ephesians: “Don’t be foolish but understand what the will of God is.” (v 17)

How do we ascertain what the will of God is in the Fourth Commandment?  

In the Old Testament we read: Honer your parents and Elders.  Or you may be really really sorry!

In the New testament Jesus tells everyone to love, take care of, be tender, kind and compassionate to everyone.

Then we read:  “For I have come to set man against his father and daughter against mother. (Matt. 10:35)  

It is confusing!  It is!!!!

   

And so, that is the reason I have come to rely on what Jesus came to teach us.  Jesus came to give us our only point of reference!  Our only true north; by which we will always know the best direction for living.  Through Jesus' teachings we have been given some clarity.  We learn right from wrong!   Good from no so good!

And, Jesus makes it clear that from the very beginning God’s basic request, God’s basic intention for all of creation, was/is to live in peace and harmony. By treating, and speaking to each other, with tenderness and compassion!  Most especially those precious little ones God has placed in our care to nurture and love.

Which mean that non-violence, rudeness, meanness are not part of the plan.

That is my humble opinion!

That is how I understand God’s Will!  As brought to the world through Jesus!

16 Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.(Deut. 5)

God's Great Plan!

What people hear in the Third Commandment is:  12 Observe the sabbath day and keep it holy,…

This Commandment is telling us so much more than to pay attention to God one day a week. It actually has three distinct parts. I will cover the third part first; because it is central to the other two parts, and the one part people tend to hear.  It is to be a time set aside to rest. Like God did!

It is a time to remember, thank, pray and listen to God’s word.  A day to be reserved, intentionally on purpose, to do nothing but be in God’s amazing grace.  And very little else!

That was God’s intention!

However, today it just seems to be a “waste of time!”

An Inconvenience!

The truth of this attitude has been felt in every congregation across our nation.  The proof? Large declines in attendance, shifts in rituals and tradition, styles of worship and changes in what it mean to be a “member” of Christ’s Body.  And gigantic shifts in the understanding of what it really means to follow Jesus.

The truth is the institutional church, since the 1950’s, has taken on an entirely different roll in our nation.  It has gone from the major family focus, as its number one priority, to a simple consideration of scheduling.

In “the good old days” people use to be good at “remembering the sabbath” as a Holy Time.  I can remember,as a little girl, when nothing — nothing — was open on a Sunday.  When Sunday was actually a day of rest!  A day for worship! A day to gather together (not necessarily in a building) to hear God’s word.  A day for family time!  

And everything in town was close to honor the Sabbath!  I can remember when that tradition began to change.  I was appalled at the change.  I was pretty idealistic  then!

Here is how that idealistic person has changed.  Every  year we have a Theological Conference in Green Lake.  It began on a Monday morning.  I liked to go up on Sunday afternoon; so I was there for the first session Monday.

I don’t like getting up early and having to rush to be somewhere.

Now, I quickly learned that Green Lake Conference Center does not serve meals on Sundays.  That was inconvenient for me!  Inconvenient because the Conference Center is not very close to other places to eat.  But I learned that there was a pizza place, about three mile down the road.  So I decided to go there to get a pizza.  

It was closed!  I was not please!  Actually I was annoyed!  I was tired and hungry!  I sat in my car and pouted for a minute.  But then I smiled to myself and thought:  “Good for them!  Good for them for honoring the Sabbath!”

And God’s great plan for a unified people has slowly faded away. Dwindled in large percentages across the centuries.  At least in the majority of the world population!

Oh how we have change our ways of thinking!

I invite you to read the whole Third Commandment on the sabbath and listen to what is not usually heard: 

12 Observe the sabbath day and keep it holy, as the Lord your God commanded you. 13 Six days you shall labor and do all your work. 14 But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, or your son or your daughter, or your male or female slave, or your ox or your donkey, or any of your livestock, or the resident alien in your towns, so that your male and female slave may rest as well as you. 15 Remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the Lord your God brought you out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm; therefore the Lord your God commanded you to keep the sabbath day. (Deut. 5)

Did you catch God’s point? 

Did you hear what God was doing in this very long “you shall not?”

He was laying out for us an intended cycle!  A pattern for living well!

God actually laid out, and designed, the original self-care plan.  Something that today’s society eats up like candy.  

So heres actual plan: 

We must “work!”  We were created to produce.  “To be “fruitful!”  To be an active part!  An active participant in God’s creation! Because God worked!    We work! Because, we are made in God’s image!  Which means we also are made to create — to produce.

We are to “rest!” Take “sabbath” time!  The rules for this Commandment are spelled out in detail in Exodus 35 down to how many step one is allowed to take.  It is amazingly specific.  All work!  All labor of any kind! Even one’s movement from spot to spot.  Not allowed!

It is to be a time set apart to restore our bodies and minds.  To re-create our energy, brain cells and nervous systems.  To remain healthy and productive we all need a day — a time — of rest.

God needed it!  So do we!

God is the architect, the designer, the builder of the best way to move through the life God gave us.

However, the human mind through the centuries has radically interrupted and dismantled the great design set in place by God. And replaced it with schedules and to-do-lists.